Election Day Game Plan

Some say it’s the most wonderful time of the year. A day that people look forward to for almost 18 months ahead of time. Others say it’s getting too commercialized — taking up our TV, radio, and social media. Wherever you fall on the holiday itself, you have to admit, it’s a day that comes and goes too quickly, one that we anticipate for weeks and weeks and then is gone in a flash.

It’s election day, and here’s my game plan.

5:30 AM – Be rudely awakened by my FREEDOM dog who will need to go outside even though I am – in theory – allowed to sleep in. I’m one of the few lucky people in the United States whose employer gives her the day off, as it should be across the country!

6:00 AM – Down a mug and a half of coffee and leave the other half on the nightstand to go cold. Watch last night’s late night comedy to catch up on the pre-election day jitters.

6:45 AM – Reheat old coffee + half mug of new coffee in the microwave. Drink half and leave it on the nightstand again, this time for good. Wile away a good hour in bed before doing anything productive.

8:15 AM – Pop FiveThirtyEight’s politics podcast into my ears as I make my way down to the polls. As Josh Lyman says on The West Wing: “Democrats and diehards vote early!” And I’ll let you decide whether I am either or both of those.

8:34 AM – Stand in line to collect ballot. Tap foot. Heart pounds.

8:35 AM – Fill out ballot, selecting each race instead of voting straight ticket so I can prolong the experience of voting.

8:37 AM – Ballot has no bubbles left to fill, vote is placed in the machine, I’m handed a wristband instead of a sticker (sad face) and leave the polling place. All done with that then, but election day is just getting under way.

9:00 AM – Out to get provisions! Election day is known for such noshes as taco dip, wings, and mozzarella sticks. Best to have each in good supply, as Election Day means late nights and stress eating. Even if you’re unlucky enough to be alone on election day, you should still buy good amounts of each so that you can make it until Alaska’s outer islands call their results.

12:30 PM – Take FREEDOM dog to the dog park and listen to some FOOLS talk about how they’re not going to vote because “it wouldn’t be fair since I don’t know anything about the people who are running” and if mom will pay for a spring break flight or not. Bite lip to keep from making a scene.

2:15 PM – Write this post because there’s a lull in the day. Predict in writing what will happen for the rest of Election Day.

2:30 PM – Catch back up with the FiveThirtyEight live blog and see how everything is still polling across the country.

2:35 PM – Choose a snack and begin the noshing process.

3:30 PM – Stress clean the entire apartment because we’re still a long way off from exit polling data.

3:45 PM – Give up on cleaning the apartment because, let’s face it, that’s hard work and watching Youtube and eating snacks is easier.

4:05 PM – Feel a little bit bad about that decision to stop cleaning so go workout for twenty minutes or so because you have JUST been informed you’re going to have to run a 5k in less than 3 weeks (scary).

4:30 PM – Ah! Exit polling! Stay gripped to screens at this point. Take in written articles, live blogging, and videos until brain starts to feel fuzzy. Continue process through the evening.

5:15 PM – Dig into the wings

5:45 PM – Take out the tonic water and gin for one sensible cocktail.

6:00 PM – Louisville polling stations close!

6:05 PM – 11:00 PM – Different foods and drinks to match the mood. Light the candles to channel warm and good smelling vibrations to the Democratic party. Put on some hype music to provide background ambiance to the different parts of the evening (when the North Dakota and Missouri senate races come in, when the Wisconsin and Georgia gubernatorial races are counted, and when Democrats reach 23+ seats in the house).

11:00 PM – Go to sleep at some point…


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